I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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