We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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