Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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