no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
