We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
