Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
