Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
