He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
