ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
