If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
