Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
