Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
