This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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