Porn is love you can see.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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