No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I see more hoeing in ur future
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