just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's rum buckets o'clock
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
