and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
