hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
