I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Be still, my beating vagina.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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