All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
