Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
