3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
