when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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