The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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