she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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