Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
