I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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