I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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