I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
