i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
