there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
