dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
