I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
