So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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