I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
