I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Success! We fucked roommates!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
