I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
