You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
