All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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