i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
