After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
