They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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