weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
