he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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