she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
