hell yes lets make some ravioli
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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