return my video game
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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