my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
