UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
