Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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