ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'd cum for enchiladas.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
