Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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